Well this is awkward…

Oh hi there. Very kind of you to come back after my month-long absence.

Before I go back to posting about the million weird and wonderful beauty products I’ve seen and tested in the last couple of months, I figured I might as well do a quick life update as the kids call it. I intended to take a week-long blog break to focus on work and other things, but it all just became a bit too much – which is why it’s now a month later.

I was always convinced that I can take care of myself and that I’m doing a really good job of being a strong independent woman, but there were a few pretty significant fails in the last few months that made me feel incompetent, frustrated and less capable (mom, if you’re reading this – I’m totally ok and you know about at least 80% of it).

The bad news: there are things I still haven’t figured out, and other things that are beyond my control. I guess I’m going to have to carry on faking it until I make it (which is something I’m very tired of, but very good at).

The good news: there are other things I have been able to figure out and decisions I’ve been able to make. Some are not so immediately appealing but they will be good for me in the long run. Example: after swearing high and low that I’ll have to be evicted from my current flat in a body bag (or, you know, when I marry some version of prince charming), I’m voluntarily moving 2.7km down the road in order to save a significant amount of money every month. I despise the thought of it and I haven’t packed or prepared a single thing, but I was able to identify that it’s a good long term decision so I’m pushing through.

Another thing I’ve realised is while I have no intention of turning into a complete granny, maybe a year of living it up post-breakup was enough and I can start finding my balance again. Other people are good at listening to what their bodies want, I’m trying to listen to what the rest of me wants – and it wants to feel like it belongs somewhere. That somewhere isn’t so much a party at 1am every weekend anymore (took me a while to understand why I was no longer having as much fun these last few months even though I was still going through the motions), but rather movie nights and dinners and wine dates and get togethers with the people close to my heart.

The more I think about it, the more it boils down to balance. Which, hilariously, is a characteristic other people have always seen in me. But somewhere along the line I’ve lost my balance, and I now need to regain it. Independence VS asking for and accepting help. Nurturing and taking care of loved ones VS coddling them to the point where I’m drained from it. Giving VS taking in personal relationships. Knowing when to fight and when to quit. You know, those kinds of things.

Should I have figured out those things already? Probably, but things don’t always work out as planned, which is something I’m learning to be ok with too.

C x

PS – I have SO MANY beauty things to write about – I’m going to try my very best to plan and schedule posts so that there are regular reads up while I move (and probably while I wait for my internet line to be moved too).

 

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22 Comments

  1. Jul 18, 2016 / 11:50 AM

    Good to have you back! We all need a break from time to time. Can’t wait to read your posts. x

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 18, 2016 / 2:47 PM

      Thanks so much Shalane x

  2. Jul 18, 2016 / 12:05 PM

    Glad to have you back! Sorry about the trying month – you will get back to finding the balance once you’ve moved and settled. Good luck with the move though, I absolutely hate having to do it and know that I am going to have to move sometime soon, too. Damn.

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 18, 2016 / 2:47 PM

      Thanks Megan! Loathing the move but I also see it as an opportunity to physically reorganise, which always helps me clear my mind as well 🙂

  3. Yumnaa Waja
    Jul 18, 2016 / 12:21 PM

    This was an excellent read reminding me that balance is essential. We get so caught up with life but rarely assess the journey in order to get the balance.

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 18, 2016 / 2:44 PM

      You said it!

  4. Niecole Smit
    Jul 18, 2016 / 12:24 PM

    Wow, what a beautiful and honest post! And let me tell you, you are not alone! I’m turning 31 soon and I haven’t figured out half of these things either! So funny that I’m reading your post when I kind of decided this weekend to also give myself a break… I’m not capable of those late night parties anymore, and I should just deal with it! Your post is so honest, and just like your previous post I appreciate honesty more than anything. Thanks for writing this and giving me the hope that I can too figure this out.

    Good luck with everything and I know that your decisions now will pay off in the long run.

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 18, 2016 / 2:44 PM

      Thank you for the encouragement, and it’s good to hear that my early midlife crisis is possibly giving you some insight 😛

  5. Karin
    Jul 18, 2016 / 3:00 PM

    Uhg! Ek haat dit om te trek! Partykeer wens ek ons was soos Amerika , waar meeste van die plekke semi furnished is. Jy is reg balans is goed , maar partykeer moet jy terug staan en iets vir jouself doen en nie worry wat die res te sê het nie. Mense moet besef dat alle verhoudings (werk/liefde/pelle/vreemdes) nie 50/50 is nie maar ek gee my 100% en jy joune.

    Dis goed om te weet dat die persoon agter die rekenaar ook “ups & downs” het , worry oor huur en om alleen oud te word.. Ons is almal ook net mens.

    Sien uit na die beauty blogs, sterkte met die getrek en uitpak 🙂

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 19, 2016 / 6:05 PM

      Yip, ons agter die rekenaar is ook heeltemal flawed en human. En jy het ‘n goeie punt beet oor die 100%. Baie dankie x

  6. ashleigh
    Jul 18, 2016 / 5:00 PM

    Dear God, i am the absolute WORST at balance. All or nothing, always. You’ll get there though…. I realised this year (after a sprained ankle, bruised elbow and a few VERY weird evenings out) that I need to sort my shit out. Once I made the decision – it all sort of started falling into place. What can I say, I’m a sheep… I follow the party and get distracted by the bright lights 🙂

    Anyway….. I think going through this kind of thing is part of what we need to experience in order to grow. You’re probably more balanced than you realise and giving yourself an extra hard time, just because you’re you.

    You know where I am if you need to chat. Muchos LOVE! xxxx

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 19, 2016 / 6:03 PM

      Thanks Ash! And good analogy, I think I’m a bit of a sheep in that regard as well 😛

  7. Simone
    Jul 18, 2016 / 6:01 PM

    We missed you! But you have to take care of yourself first and the rest will follow. Good luck with the move – argh!

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 19, 2016 / 6:02 PM

      Thank you Simone!

  8. R Fourie
    Jul 18, 2016 / 7:32 PM

    Jy gaan sterker anderkant uitkom!

    I’m glad you are back.

    I checked everyday for a new post …… cannot wait to read about all the BEAUTY things 🙂

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 19, 2016 / 6:02 PM

      Dankie vir jou ondersteuning xx

  9. Jul 19, 2016 / 10:46 AM

    Good read! I can totally relate with the desire to step back from everything now and then, it can feel like a maelstrom sometimes.

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 19, 2016 / 6:01 PM

      Indeed, definitely time for me to regroup a little!

  10. Jul 19, 2016 / 12:32 PM

    Raw honesty, loved it 🙂 I was never really a big party girl and always felt like the biggest koek. A friend of mine always said “jy kan ‘n ouma wees, maar solank jy net nie ouma panties dra nie!” lol.
    Hope you enjoy the chance to sort everything out with the move, strongs with that!! xx

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 19, 2016 / 6:01 PM

      Hahaha! And thanks 🙂

  11. Laurene
    Jul 19, 2016 / 7:04 PM

    So lekker om jou weer in my “Inbox” te sien, Chantelle! 🙂

    • Chantelle Bester
      Author
      Jul 20, 2016 / 8:54 AM

      Dankie!

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